Finding your purpose and using it to create happiness throughout all avenues of your life.
Figure out your purpose and how you can benefit from it.
What are you running from? Or toward? You must begin here to know exactly what to do next. Are you trying to get away from the past in order to create a substantial future for yourself and your family? Or are you forever chasing something, and now is the time to make it come to fruition?
For me, it was a combination of the two. I was running from the traumas in my past that shaped how I moved in the world four decades later, and I was running towards finding real joy. My first blog piece talks about the fact that I was at the lowest point of my adult existence. Not because horrible things had taken place but because my whole life felt like one tragic event; I had to constantly dig myself from under. My lowest point was when I found myself unable to get back up.
Born Beautifully Boundless
July 5th, 2020
What I Realized
Life seemed to be so finite. This only made me feel more inadequate, and this created my unhappiness.
So how could I return to my true self after so many years of being something else? Well, when the pain of the pulled groin presented itself, I had to make a plan. Day by day, I tried to follow the plan or stick closely to it. I didn’t make myself feel bad when I wasn’t following the plan or needed to modify the plan because it wasn’t working. Perseverance was the key to being better and feeling better. It was time that I listened to myself, even when what I was thinking wasn’t good or maybe self-destructive. Even in the discoveries that you learn about yourself, there are imperfect truths that you must deal with. I started with a plan which included exercise and yoga. It helped me get my body moving daily, even if I didn’t want to. Every day I took stock of what worked and what didn’t. Then I modified it and kept going. Some days were successful, and others downright “not.” But even on those days, I didn’t get mad at myself for not being productive. I gave myself leeway to need or want to do other things, which also made me smile. One day at a time, I added something to my day that brought me joy until I found myself unable to keep up. Then again, I modified it. I changed the game several times until I found something comfortable, easy to sustain, and the best option for me.
You will find that there are wants, and then there are needs. As you discover those needs, they take priority over everything else. Needs must be met to accomplish what you want. If you do things backward, you cannot set yourself free. Instead, you place yourself in a trap that never truly fulfills you, and eventually, you are back at square one or further behind than you have ever found yourself. I needed something to check my emotions daily, even minute by minute if necessary, I needed something to accomplish, just for me and about me, and I needed human connection. What are your needs?
I go on in the blog to talk about how this moment became my “ah-ha” moment. I was aware that my problem wasn’t that I was incapable of being happy but that what I was doing was causing me heartache. I had no connection to the world around me, which was very important. I needed to be a part of something larger than I was. The need for connection is a characteristic that I have always known since a child, but I thought acting was how to create this connection. I hadn’t tapped into my purpose. At this time, I was even unsure of my purpose. I had been wavering for years between what I did for a living, teaching, and what I wanted to do as a child, act.
My goal was to figure out my purpose and do that, I had to refer back to my past. Currently, the things that I was doing were little. I searched for a job to get off welfare, and I was unsuccessful at finding work outside of teaching. Honestly, I never wanted to step into a public school again if I could help it. What I wanted to be when I grew up, the hobbies I had as a child, and the aspirations I had for myself before I became an adult were the guides I used to help me figure it out. There were several things that I wanted for myself then.
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