No Judge, No Jury

Updated: a day ago

BBB Entry #20

Must do - Don’t be so hard on yourself.


Why - The harder you make it for yourself, the less likely you will continue on the path. Learn to celebrate the small successes toward your goal. You will find you are more likely to continue making beautiful strides because of a more positive outlook on yourself.


Perspective:

Time has passed, everything is going well, and now things may have fallen a ways back in some areas. Life has gotten the best of us all, time passing and we are no longer diligently practicing what was preached. The job is consuming. The children are in dire need of your attention and assistance. Your spouse may be going through a situation that causes you to pause your goals, or another family issue takes precedence. Sometimes you just fall off with diligence when things are going well. There doesn’t always have to be a reason why things have fallen to the wayside.


Whether it is the beginning of a transformation, well in practice or not, things can shift. In the shift, you might lose momentum or drop the ball altogether. Don’t judge yourself too harshly. It takes time, and even after time, you might find yourself starting all over again or revamping protocols. We make mistakes, fall, backslide, forget, and a whole host of other actions that can be counterproductive. These too are part of the process and cannot be denied, put away, or even used as a negative tool that might reset your growth. Without these obstacles, we can’t continue to correct or better ourselves. If we don’t keep it moving, we can stagnate or complacent. How bad do you want it? As people, we are always honing in or working toward the perfection we think is attainable. This journey to your happiness is no different.

What I Realized

There are no perfect people, yet we continue to be judge and jury. With every judgment, you continue to bind yourself and others. If we are not feeding ourselves the negative self-talk, there is always a hater or misguided individual who does for us. We allow others to judge us and justify their actions because we love them or want to be accepted. Perfection does not come in human form, and once you have settled with that information, all you can do is strive to be a better version of yourself now. No one in this world can judge you without being judged themselves. Why do we even participate in such hateful rhetoric? If you need a sounding board to talk to make sure you choose wisely. The goal of criticism is to help you improve, and if unsolicited, it is unworthy of acknowledgment.

What I Did Next

Our goal is always to improve, assess, reassess and apply knowledge to inner selves. Yet every time you try and are unsuccessful, the harsh judgment doesn’t enhance self-worth. Instead, it feeds the psychosomatic “bs” that we have been trying to dig ourselves out from. We praise babies at every attempt, successful or not. One day, baby masters the task, but at no point in time before mastery were they anything but praised. So the baby wants to try more and do more to continue to feel the success, and they have no problem because praise is what they received.


Think now of yourself as a child, baby, infant, and begin to praise all attempts. Surround yourself with other people who have nothing but praises. Criticisms need to be constructive and at request. Once we start to treat ourselves in the same way as a baby, we might find that we will begin to take more risk as an adult. Look at it this way, when you are doing something for the first time, you are exactly like a baby. Mistakes will help us find in what direction we should genuinely head toward, but if we are all so afraid to try, there would be no accomplishment. Praise yourself and the other adults in your life. Let’s encourage each other to be more and do more. No judgment.