BBB # 36
Must do - Your emotions are valid, no matter how sporadic they may be.
Why - You are overhauling your entire life right now. Taking what once was and making something so vastly different is exhausting work. There are bound to be mixed emotions that cause and create some of the roller coasters of feelings you may be riding currently. Feel those emotions, address them so that you can move forward. Burying them will only make things worse.
Perspective:
You know you’re on the right path when all you feel is peace even in the midst of a storm. You will question if you should be calm, and you may even give yourself a hard time not acting as you usually do during the storm. You are supposed to react differently! A different reaction is foreign, so your body will want to continue its regular practice. Your muscle memory has recorded the events to take place on cue... lights, camera, action! The storm comes, and you usually fall out, have a fit, create a scene, get angry and lash out, etc. Today, though you sit calmly, with your craft, meditation, prayer, and finding that you have logically thought it through, you make a decision and are at peace with it. Now your mind and body conflict. Your emotions come into play to balance the internal conflict between the mind and the body. All feelings are normal reactions but don’t let your emotions get carried away.
When things fall apart around you, stay the course and realize there is no obstacle you can’t overcome—your new mental reaction through practice and training. The more you react this way instead of how you always had, this new reaction will begin to become a route response, which is what you want. You want your body to start to react positively automatically. Don’t thwart the progress by doubting yourself. Reflect, check yourself, and then make sure you continue taking steps toward the goal. If you are, then worry less. Emotions sometimes override a moment. They can send you spiraling out of control if you let it consume you. Feel it, own it. Need to cry, cry. Need to scream, do so. Please do not take it out on someone else. This moment needs to your own, alone. If you have children, discreetly step out of view and give yourself a moment. It is also a time when you will not decide about family, career, or personal relationships. Let the emotional moment pass - then give it 6 to 12 more hours before using your emotions to react when others are involved.
What I Realized
When you can see every blessing clearly, it will bring tears to your eyes. Reflect on how far you have come from where you started. You are right where you are supposed to be for once in your life, and you are aware of the journey you are taking. The path is where you stand, and you have arrived. Now your job is to stay here. Continue to become rooted in this place. Stay open to what comes your way and humble yourself. Self-reflection will continue to be necessary. It will keep you from overextending yourself and keeping you moving in the right direction. Feel the emotion, release the emotion, give thought to the sentiment but don’t react until later. Keep it to yourself, and if it becomes overwhelming, use your resources for venting only. Letting them know you need a moment to share even though what you feel is not what is transpiring. That is why prayer is vital because you don’t have to preface it that way. You can say it however you need to say it, and there will be no repercussions to whatever is said or however you said it.
What I Did Next
Let your emotions come and go as they may. Recognize their usefulness, whether they are positive or not. Either the reaction is unnecessary, or the response helps balance your spirit. No matter, later, you will find that they both bring you closer to happiness once explored and put in the proper perspective. You will also find that searching through your “baggage” can be more of a weight that you are unwilling to carry or unable to accept any longer. Allow yourself to be tired and sometimes over the concept of self-improvement. We all need a break from even the goal of self-improvement. You must honor your feelings even if you do not want them to be what they are. They, too, have a purpose, whether you can embrace that purpose at this moment or not.