Maintain What You've Gained

BBB#40


Must do – Sustain and maintain all that you have gained. Hold on to your successes!


Why - Time will get hard, and you don’t want the negative mindset to return. It would be best to keep all your success at the forefront of your mind. When you do this, it is easier to have positive self-talk.


Perspective:

Your only job right now is to maintain what you have gained. That will mean when new issues or triggers come to the surface. You may not, should not try adding anything to the list of things you are attacking at this point. Take stock, maybe write them down, make a mental note of the new issue that is something that at some point it will be important to address, but right now, you have your plate full with accomplishments and task towards the ultimate goal. Hey, you could change plans if it is critical to address this new issue. Don’t overwhelm your to do list to many goals. Prioritize goals and only actively work on 2-3 at a time. You must gain some level of mastery with the current skill before adding a new one. Let’s dig a little deeper.


Your issue is negative self-talk. Recognize that the journey must include positive affirmations to self. Create yourself an affirming daily mantra, and slow down when you find the negativity creeping up. During quarantine, loneliness can fuel some, if not all, of this self-talk. There are creative ways to begin looking for companionship online. There are apps and social groups that you can join to spark up conversation. Delve into some DM’s to foster a deeper connection with potential suitors. It is easier to juggle multiple people online and figure out which personalities suit you best. You can find more than romantic relationships online. Many friendships are fostered the same way. Mask yourself and meet in a safe environment because chemistry is also a huge part of good relationships. Don’t allow your negative self-talk to prevent you from creating the support system you need to become healthy. You are good enough!


What I Realized

Have you conquered the negative self-talk? Without working on this goal, it will be impossible to make gains in any other area of your life. Negative self-talk must be addressed immediately to becoming successful, and I would say would even help with the relationship issue. You should not replace the first issue with the second, even if you feel that not addressing the second will potentially cause you to lose the connection. Why, you might ask? The journey you have been taking is towards forever happiness. First, this journey has been about yourself, and you cannot then change focus to someone else. No matter how successful you become with the second goal, you will always be unhappy. Your negative self-talk will be there, and it can cause the relationship to run its course anyway. The journey’s goal is not for someone else’s happiness but your own. So stay focused on self no matter what. Second, if they are meant for you, they will want you to focus on bettering yourself. It will help them see you clearly and ultimately fall for you even more. They will meet you where you are and hold your hand through the process. If they are unwilling to do this for you, they are not meant for you anyhow. Heartbreak is inevitable in that case.


What I Did Next

Maintain what you have gained. You catch yourself with your negative thinking, and you need to continue to work on this self-talk. You may broaden this task by adding your self-talk in relationships. Work on self-talk when alone and with a significant other. What you should not do is begin working on relationship balance issues. You could start working on something else once you become more successful with positive self-talk. How do you know when you are successful?

  1. This first message that comes to your mind about yourself is positive instead of negative. More often than not.

  2. You find yourself overthinking less when it comes to your goals and progress, which means you don’t second guess yourself as much as you used to.

  3. Finally, this now seems like the least of your worries. Not to say that it isn’t something you can continue to work on but that it doesn’t seem as pressing as it first did.


Now you can confidently begin working on the new area, balancing yourself with a new relationship. Confidence doesn’t mean that you no longer work on self-talk. You might find that there will be moments where you have to revisit the previous task. When it comes to career, children, or new interests, you might find that negative self-talk has resurfaced. Revisit each lesson until you find yourself naturally responding in a way that sustains daily happiness.