BBB Entry #10
Must do - Learn to be patient with yourself.
Why - We tend to be much harder critics of ourselves. Although this sometimes has a place, this can be the beginning of the spiral you take that prevents you from being successful.
I almost lost it yesterday. Some days I lose patience with myself and don't give myself enough credit while going through the process. It might be my control issues arising in another manner, or it could be something else, not sure. When I have those days, it becomes harder to follow through with giving myself a moment. Life goes on, and sometimes we rush right through. Sometimes I am just trying to make it to the end of the day, which is not the best way to get through a day. Emotions get pushed to the side as if they're not essential as the task at hand, like the crying baby, the demanding job, or the needy spouse. The truth is I can't give what I have not obtained for myself. The moments for self are more than necessary to not just survive until the end of the day. When I find myself getting lost within a day, it is time to figure out how to show up for that moment. Showing up is easily said but very difficult to do.
What I Realized
I used to stretch myself in ways that wasn't compatible with my life. I lost my job 9 months before the pandemic and have been without work since then. Although the days of just getting by still haunt me, I know that once I reenter the workforce, it has to be under terms conducive to who I am as an individual. Or I will find myself right back down in the depths that I am digging myself out of currently. Jobs these days care less about mental health and well being. They are barely concerned with physical health and wellness. Yet, for me, this is more important to my success in the workplace. If I am not considered in all these aspects, I cannot just show up. How can you demand what you need for yourself and maintain your life in society? That may not be possible. I haven't quite figured this out for myself yet. Not sure I can give any advice on something that I am not qualified to answer. All I know is that I must strive toward being more authentically myself in all aspects of life, especially making money. Otherwise, I get lost.
Numerous challenges prevent us from maintaining self-awareness. Especially when it comes down to the preservation of family and the meager means most families get by with. In hindsight, though, I realize that the rest is meaningless without physical and mental health. Not to say you can drop everything and reset your life as a whole but one step in a direction towards self is all it takes. First, you will tiptoe, soon you will be walking, and finally running d of self. Don't let life live without you! There is always an excuse or a reason to focus somewhere else. You can get lost in the hustle and bustle of life because that is life's designed. So it doesn't matter in the end if you ever take care of yourself. Life will go on with or without you. You matter to you, and if you don't give yourself a priority, who will?
There is no perfect job, necessarily or ideal person to fill your void. But there is a better fitting position or company that would allow you to be more authentically you. Sometimes it isn't even the job itself but how you handle it daily that might need to change. Be your own self-advocate. And if you're anything like me, you may need to search out someone to help you do so in a productive way. Some challenges are not in our control; by the same token, there are just as many things that you can mode to be better fitting to you and the lifestyle that you yearn for. Lean on your own understanding of yourself. Take stock of what really is you want versus what you need. Address needs immediately and then one wrong at a time, create your wants the right way.
What I Did Next
No matter how big or small the task toward self-care, you matter, and it is necessary. Things that can't be changed immediately begin to search out how to change them over time. Those moments when you feel out of control, you can look toward your goals to reach that necessary change. It might help you cope better knowing that there is a solution underway. It could even help revamp your thought process and how you handle things or practicing those foundational skills to your happiness. We are not less than if we can't do something or control the elements that make the task painstakingly hard. Learn to adult through situations better through your reactions, which will help create generational ease into this same adulting concept. Let go to maintain.