BBB Entry#26
Must do - Notice the things, ideas, people, and situations that no longer fit on your new path.
Why - As you notice what is working, you must not only acknowledge what is not working but make an effort to revamp or discard totally from your life.
Perspective:
Life sometimes purposely distracts and deters us from the important things in life. Getting caught up in things that don’t can make us feel like we don’t matter. Spending day after day, doing nothing of worth can distract from what you should truly be doing. The only way to change this monotonous cycle is to find the essential things and surround ourselves with them immediately. We never want to get caught in a regime that means nothing to us. Nor do we want to find ourselves constantly giving of ourselves but no one giving back to us. Everyone needs or wants. It is vital to feed our soul or inner flower to grow and strengthen for drought or floods. We have to take care of ourselves to be of any use to others. So take notice!
What I Realized
Notice when a friendship is no longer viable. When you have given your all, they are full from your presence, but their company adds nothing to you. There should be an exchange of positive energy between the two. Not to say that you can quantify it in a way that would make it an even trade, but you should receive something. Friendship doesn’t always last a lifetime. Sometimes friends are just for the season/reason; as you continue to grow and change, you may find yourself outgrowing certain friendships, which is okay. Which doesn’t mean you can never talk to the person again or just ghost them. Have a conversation, know what you need from that particular individual, and see if they can adjust and meet you halfway. If not, maybe a daily or weekly interaction is no longer necessary to maintain.
Notice when death and illness have affected you internally when your moods are no longer the same because of absence that you have no control over. Just because the world needs or desires you to move on and take care of business doesn’t mean you are ready for that. Your business is to take care of yourself. You need to feed yourself to have the strength to help someone else, whether it be a business or personal relationship. So mourn as you need, get the help and support you need to stay on the right side of dealing with things healthily. Mourning is not always a healthy action, especially when your dwelling on it instead of using it to build upon your soul. Things or people that we lose are part of the growth and nourishment we will need for our flower. Nourishment for the soul can spoil as well and become poison if we are not observing closely. Sometimes more adjustments need to be made to maintain sanity.
Notice when you ignore the request of your children/dependents. When you are no longer giving them enough time with you (because you are their food for their flower). Notice when you put work and money before your mate and their needs. Change of job, hours, working conditions are more important than just muddling through as-is. Notice how your relationships evolve and what direction they are evolving toward. If it is a positive place, even though it might be vastly different, there is nothing wrong with that. The problem is when they develop in a way that is destructive, painful, or toxic. Even more so, notice when these relationships don’t evolve.
Everyone and everything in your life aren’t meant to be a part of your life forever! There are fair-weather friends and jobs intended for a time or spell. Accept this and accept when you should be making the necessary changes to sustain a relationship or career. You may even need to adopt to a new type of relationship between you and that person. Or you may need to not look at your list of standards as an immediate to-do list that another person needs to complete to be in your world.
Notice and then adjust accordingly through words and deeds.
What I Did Next
After I noticed the environment, I was living in and the people I surrounded myself with, I began to make some strategic adjustments. I was always very good at picking friends. There was no one in the friendship department that I needed to distance myself from. I am an individual that doesn’t call many people friend. I have always had one to two very close friends and many associates. I naturally spent time with family members who feed my soul the best. This was something I learned early on and had continued. My goal was to foster more positive relationships with those members I didn’t get along with well. But I also limited the amount of time I spent with these individuals already. I worked on close-knit relationships that I needed to become better to be healthier. One thing that I had to do was permanently dismiss the spouse I chose to have children with. Our relationship was toxic and had always been. We were in different places in our lives when we first met almost twenty years prior. I had grown so much from the person that I had been at twenty. My love for him prevented me from really flourishing. Once I truly grasped that, I was able to let go and not look back with any regrets.