Poor not Unworthy

BBB Entry#15


Must do - What your current financial situation is, has nothing to do with what you can accomplish right now.


Why - We can talk ourselves out of doing something because of finances. Where there is a will, there is a way! Tap into your resources, the people you know, the knowledge you have is enough to get started and get going.


Perspective:


It is humbling to see someone else struggle and not help them. There are many communities in dire need, and you might be two steps from being impoverished yourself. I am speaking about the black and Latino communities, although ours is not the only one that struggles. We do so heavily and disproportionately too many other communities with people who struggle. Our communities tend to deal with things that other communities have no concept about or can truly fathom how they would react to the same injustices that we have been dealing with all of our existence. Torn families, not just because someone chooses to leave but because society has put in place rules and regulations that make it okay for the system to tear the family apart when it happens to be whole. So even if a family is together, outside elements can change another’s livelihood dynamic.


I hope that things will continue to evolve for the better. I want to be more a part of the change for me, though. To be of help and service to others, I would like to be somehow able to help someone else find their way through hope and success. Maybe writing this blog is my way to participate in helping others. Possibly something else I do will be the catalyst that allows me to be more of service. I am not sure what my journey will bring or if my story will resonate with anyone but myself. But it doesn’t hurt to try. Maybe my life and the struggles that I continue to have is my connections to others. When I share with myself, I will touch just one person and help them lead a more fulfilling life. If there is only one, then this is all worthwhile.


What I Realized

My journey has led me back to my authentic self but teaching me differentiation, among other things—differentiation for myself, and different ways to handle my frustrations and misunderstandings. For the longest time, I only had one reaction to something; People said to be humble when I had my way. As a child, I didn’t understand what that meant, and as a result, I taught myself not to enjoy my success. My “humble” was not even to acknowledge when I was successful, and to do that, and I needed to pick it apart and say what things could have been better, not to make others feel bad. When I was unsuccessful, I would feel even worse for a failure. So nothing I did was ever good enough. Both success and failure were things I couldn’t enjoy. I unknowingly trained myself to be dissatisfied, and that attitude transformed the rest of my life.


What I Did Next

For me, returning to Christ was my saving grace. It has helped create a more positive headspace to move about in the world. Today I am in an entirely different place. Until now, my life has been a necessary exhaustive trail of sorrows to reach the point of free expression of self. No self-doubt or deprivation is holding me down anymore. Insecurities created by living in the world are now the roots that bound me solidly to my truth. I couldn’t, and still can’t, afford a shrink but needed a significant overhaul of thoughts to become better and do better. Mentally and emotionally, the bible has helped me become more balanced than ever before...and still evolving for the better. I didn’t get better alone! It was anything but an easy, straight, and wide path. There were moments where my whole world would crumble, and yes, I said moments (years). Looking backward, they were only that, but being in them felt like small eternities that I would get lost in. Starting from scratch over and over became soul-crushing instead of spirit building. Why me, again! To be better, we have to do better, think better, and be healthier. So yes, you also. Have faith and hold on for dear life. The tunnel will brighten, but only when you are open for it.


It doesn’t mean that you don’t try and find a way to help someone else who is struggling more than you. We are each other’s saving grace, angels on earth. Find a way to help someone, no matter how small the gesture. Being service-minded will help with your self-confidence and help revamp the way you treat yourself. Becoming less selfish benefits you and those you come in contact with. Just because you don’t have the financial means doesn’t mean you are unworthy of a better life. You just have to believe you deserve better.