Born Beautifully Boundless Entry #7
Must do - Live in the present by not looking to the future or dwelling in the past.
Why - Part of being focused is being able to live in the moment. Living in the moment will require you to not only be in the moment but be fully in it; mind, body, and soul.
Part of your happiness is being present for those wonderful things in your life right now. Living in the present can be a challenge for a certain individual type. I am definitely that type. I am this type of person through learned behavior. Due to many unfortunate life circumstances, I have learned not to trust the people around me. My past was dark and consuming, but if I live in a headspace conducive to the past, I bring the past into my present. I began to react to the present as if I was dealing with the life of my past. I was overly aggressive, trying to stand up for myself refusing to be taken advantage of once again.
Other times, I spent too much time dreaming about my future. Eventually learning not to trust myself because of dwelling so long in a negative headspace. Although I, hoped that my life would change for the better, I was unsure. I so desired to be happy with life and who I was. Good and bad experiences together. It took all these years before I was able to do this. I began to notice that I missed prime opportunities for happiness and enjoyment, in the now. The present faded into the background of my dreams. Leaving me still yearning, not realizing that I was allowing it to pass by.
What I Realized
Many people live in a different time and place within their psyche. As a result, a person or career could be a good fit in another time or place. This can often be a deceiver of your actual happiness factor. Because although it fits well with parts of who you are, it doesn't quite make you happy in the way that it should. Both positive thoughts, as well as negative thoughts, can hold you back. It is evident how negative thoughts about your past or future can present a problem, but what about the positives.
Example 1: Sue got involved with a great guy, and for the first year, he was the perfect mate. Over time though, he was everything but great. Sue began to replay all the good times in her mind continuously. Trying to think positive and give him the benefit of the doubt, she loses the fact that she deserves the benefit. If she continues to do this, she will not be living in the present. The present is misery, and she should allow herself decisions about her relationship to be influenced by the now. Instead, she will create a better today through memories and not action.
Example 2: You have all these thoughts of grandeur for yourself. Your career is beginning to really take off in a positive direction, and you are elated. You can't wait to be, instead of in the place you are now, still building. Thinking too far ahead can hinder your progress. You need to make decisions now that may not look as if they have anything to do with the end goal. The problem is that every decision you make will not directly affect the end but do affect the now towards that goal. You never want to be too fixated on the future and miss out on all the moments that lead up to it.
What I Did Next
Vacationing is a great way to keep me focused on the present. It allows me to shut off the imagination and live in those moments. When I am on vacation, there is nothing to worry about. I have planned for the escape, and I truly can escape during this time. Recently I found that there are other times when my mind isn’t going crazy, and I can live in the moment.
The other day I went bike riding with my children and found that I could think of nothing. All I could do was bask in the beautiful skies and landscape around me. I cannot overthink during a ride. I can focus on pedaling and my children's smiles. Exercising, or physical activities like sawing down a tree, or something as simple as sitting in the arms of my beloved being held, help me to stay current. These moments aren’t always, or even often, but they are there. So, when these moments come, I should bathe in them totally. These moments can help to revamp your mood and outlook on life.
Enjoy your moments, whatever they may be. Keep yourself, mind, body, and soul in the present. It is okay to reflect on the past or even dream about the future. When we dwell there to try to bring ourselves happiness in the now. That happiness is then and yet to come. They can never live in this place and space. So, live in the moment! What keeps you living in and for the moment? Have you found those things that keep you sane in a world that seems totally off-kilter? Now is your time to look at what those things offer you and surround yourself with them a little more today.