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Love: The Skin Your In


Find things to love about yourself that will not change.

My Life: I had a conversation with my significant other about my mid-section and wanted to control my blood pressure. He was all for the blood pressure but said there was nothing wrong with my body. He went on to explain why he loved it and didn’t want me to change a thing. Of course, it is not up to him if I change it, but I thought about why it changed, having children. I had lived most of my life without the muffin. My first child was born when I was thirty-one, and my body bounced back. When I had my second child at forty, it all went to the left.

My second child was a girl, and she is very aware of what I do and say about her and myself. I spend many hours honoring her as she is and then making snide comments about myself which she has picked up on. At three, she stated something about growing up and being fat. I felt some way about it. I told her no matter her size, and she would always be beautiful. Light bulb: My guy was telling me the same.

Reflection: I am learning to embrace my changes. It is hard most times, but I have a hard time with change. In my life, things that change are usually not by my design (life right). By the time I accept the change - which is a long time - something else changes. My goal is to become more flowing, like water with changes that are out of my control. It will help with my self-esteem and the negative voices that flow through my mind.

Just as I spend hours complimenting my daughter, I have begun to do the same for myself. Loving the skin I am in is essential. I can’t get a message across to others if I am hung up on superficial things about myself. Lately, I have been finding ways to flip the talk about myself. Again not judging myself for not landing the job, losing the muffin, keeping with a workout routine, etc. Instead, I look at the accomplishments I have made since beginning my writing career, the exercise I have incorporated into my week, and loving the vessel that could birth two children.

Immediately my outlook on myself changed and helped me maintain positivity when other people made the same comments I have made about myself (toxic relationship). People are so perfection-driven that we forget to strive for it, but it is unattainable here on earth. We were not born to be perfect, but perfectly imperfect. These imperfections give us the desires necessary to make our purpose more solidified into our core.

The Test: Keeping tabs on what you need to do to keep a healthy outlook on life can be daunting. It can be overwhelming just dealing with your insecurities, but not everything has to be solved immediately. Again, it is not about perfection. It is about making your life happy in the here and the now. If making jabs at yourself genuinely make you happy, then have at it. I said it to prevent another from saying it first. I may be heavier than I was at thirty-one, but I am still pleased with my body, and the world of men has second that motion.

It is crucial to dote on yourself as much as you do for others. Your gifts are singular to you because of your outlook, upbringing, race, age, etc. These things make you unique and your message powerful because of the voice that speaks it. So tell your truth, live your most authentic self, love the package, and adore the person you are and will become. Every day, not just today! Yeah, that is the test.


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