BBB Entry #23
Must do - No matter how small, make a daily attempt to progress with your goal and purpose.
Why - In order to make something a habit, you must practice it daily. You want who you are to be in the forefront of every day, not in the background.
Keep it moving, with things that you can do for yourself to uplift, encourage, and help sustain your goals. I had a day the other day where I just didn’t want to move. I wanted to be invisible for a time, to just sit with my thoughts and just be. First, my two-year-old can’t stand for me to take any moments for myself, and my ten-year-old can’t function without a hover mom. Yes, it was nearly impossible to get that moment, and I desperately needed it. When I could not get the moments I needed, I began to feel less than. Those thoughts began to depress me, which was everything but good. What was supposed to be rest turned into something altogether different? I decided to force myself to move and get up. Dress as if I had somewhere to be, look cute, and maybe just go pick up some to-go food for the family.
After moving, I felt much better, even though what was on my mind was still lingering. Not to say that there will not come a moment when I will have to deal with the lost moment, but moving made all the difference. It kept me from overthinking circumstances that I had no control over and could not change. No matter if the ponderings that were going on in my head were positive or not - movement shifted the need. It was all that was needed. When life hits, you may not be ready to ingest or except, get moving.
What I Realized
I decided to take the rest of the day in stride - well, sort of. I finished the rest of my day with more productive activities. The moment of rest didn’t come until the end of the day. That was when I had the opportunity to address the rest. I wasn’t listening to my core, and the voice inside was yelling at me, but it was not clear on what needed to be addressed. Of course, these things need to be handled, but at 9 in the morning it was not the most opportune time to ponder such thoughts. It was better to live the day and use the night to reflect on the issue that called for my attention.
I could have beat myself up further for not listening to that inner voice in the morning. For a minute there, that is what I was going to do. Looking back on this journal’s pages, I figured I would instead embrace it and put into action what I had said. There is a time and place for everything, and sometimes we list things in the wrong order. Productivity should always be first. The reflections and revamping of plans should not get in the way of your entire day. At first, my inner dialogue was going to say, “Told you so,” and then state all the terrible things that come after it, including the fact that I could have prevented this turn of events etc. Instead, I decided, yes, I kind of knew that already and can make the necessary adjustments first thing tomorrow morning. “Don’t put off tomorrow what can be done today,” a familiar saying which works better for the productivity side of things and less for the reflections.
What I Did Next
I began to move first and thought about it after. It was hard to begin to just step without worrying about how soon or not so soon I reacted. At times, I feel that I should be doing something more, but that is the negative voice preventing me from placing importance where it belongs. Movement daily is more important than pondering a day lost to thought. Reflection is for after the day, not before, even if you wake to the inner voice. There is an appropriate time to focus on your inner voice, but it doesn’t take precedence over the rest of the life you were meant to live. Stay productive; keep it moving.